


The Rack.

by sasha_dragon



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-09
Updated: 2011-04-20
Packaged: 2017-10-18 10:27:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/187948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sasha_dragon/pseuds/sasha_dragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Working on Supernatural can be hazardous for your health, both mental and physical. In other words take three bored actors, one very special guest star, add a dash of fan fiction and stand well back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Many moons ago, June 2009 to be precise I first started to write this (by hand no less in a caravan in Weymouth, don’t worry only 8000 words or so). In other words this was my very first attempt at fan fic, and because I’m such a git I decided to finally finish it. So now you are faced with plot line for the show that was Kripked to hell and back. But to be honest I just finally had to let this out to play with my other fics, in other words I’m so sorry. Beta’d by the wonderful Bigj52, a woman with the patience of a saint, and to who many thanks go.

_**The Rack, (1/1), PG-13,J2.**_  
 **Title:** The Rack.  
 **Pairing:** J2  
 **Rating:** PG13 For Language.  
Words:14,190. (Anyone surprised?)  
 **Summary:** Working on Supernatural can be hazardous for your health, both mental and physical. In other words take three bored actors, one very special guest star, add a dash of fan fiction and stand well back.  
 **Disclaimer:** Sadly they are not mine, I wish it were so but Santa said I‘d been a bad girl. Not to mention do you really think Jared and Jensen spend their time kissing in their trailers? And if anyone can provide proof I’d be eternally grateful. So this is a work of fiction from a deranged fan girl.  
 **Authors Notes:** Many moons ago, June 2009 to be precise I first started to write this (by hand no less in a caravan in Weymouth, don’t worry only 8000 words or so). In other words this was my very first attempt at fan fic, and because I’m such a git I decided to finally finish it. So now you are faced with plot line for the show that was Kripked to hell and back. But to be honest I just finally had to let this out to play with my other fics, in other words I’m so sorry. Beta’d by the wonderful Bigj52, a woman with the patience of a saint, and to who many thanks go.

  
This may all be Bruce Campbell’s fault, thought Jared as he, Misha and Cliff descended upon the Emergency Room where Jensen was being treated. He contemplated the events which led up to the latest in a long line of E.R. visits.

The day had started normally enough. Well, what passed for normal on the sleep-deprived, caffeine-driven barely-controlled chaos that was the ‘Supernatural’ set, when from Jensen’s trailer came a cry of...

“Beat that, Collins.”

Jared shook his head, listening to his normally sane, well, mostly sane co-star while he was engaged in an ongoing battle with the newest addition to the cast. It had started innocently enough during one of the many interviews they did. Misha had laughingly called himself a “fan girl” and a legend was born. Misha had gone on, admitting to reading Live Journal and forum sites and this had led to the fact he had come across fan fiction and he had, in fact, read some of it.

From the moment that comment had hit the fan sites, the real fan girls had swamped them with links, LJ communities and recs for said fiction flooded in. Misha being Misha had been compelled to check it out, purely in the name of research into the world of fandom, and what the fans thought of them and their characters. Jared could have told Misha what the fan girls thought, and it usually involved the removal of clothing and for some reason, a lot of melted chocolate.

From here everything just snowballed as Misha gleefully started passing out links and now there was a wall. It had started out in the in the make-up trailer. It had quickly been covered in fic links. Jared shuddered when he recalled what the wall had been called, ‘The Good, The Bad and how the hell did the internet not combust when that got posted?’ Jared felt it lacked a certain flow but it really did sum up the contents of the wall.

Now “The Fic Wall” or “The Wall” as it had been re-christened had been moved out of the trailer, due to sheer volume. There was every kind of Fic on the wall. There was gen fiction with stories which could be used as episodes once the swearing and excessive violence, usually towards Dean had been toned down, to het where the boys did more than hunt ghosts with the girls of the week, and Jared really got behind those and added links whenever possible. Then there was the love that dared not speak its name. Ok, it shouted it instead, yup; Wincest was very well represented there.

Finally there were Real Person stories and of course, Misha’s personal favourite Real Person Slash. ‘The Wall’ had been divided into the various categories so that those of a sensitive disposition didn’t start out reading a Case Fic only to be scarred for life by finding out what the boys did after a hunt if they weren’t patching each other up or in one memorable fic while patching each other up.

Jared was aware of the fact the RPS, as it was known, was also further sub divided, and this had very nearly caused him to choke on his gummy worms one morning. In fact, if Jensen hadn’t been there to pound on his back Eric would have had some very interesting casting issues. Right in the middle were three new categories, ‘bottom’ Misha, ‘bottom’ Jared and ‘bottom’ Jensen. This in itself was bad enough and to make matters worse, the crew were now reading it and giving it marks, grading according to style, content, writing ability, Squick Factor, romance and most importantly, how hot the sex scenes were.

Unfortunately for Jensen, Misha had spotted (well, OK, mercilessly looked for) a trend in some fics. In those fics Jared was often portrayed as a heroic, protective caveman, prone to manhandling Jensen at every opportunity.

Jensen was the damsel in distress, a delicate bloom, prone to crying and being neurotic and Misha had seized on this with an unholy glee and now these kinds of fics seemed to be making a bid for wall domination.

Jensen had taken in it good humour at first, but after a while and more than a few “Hello Princess” it had started to grate a little. So Jensen was engaged in his own quest for a similar kind of fic but with Misha in the delicate bloom role, so far with little success. Jared was beginning to suspect that Jensen would end up writing his own fic to that end.

So when the door to the trailer flew open and Jensen bounced past with a manic glint in his eye and a smirk, clutching a paper with a link on it, Jared felt he had better go along and prevent an act of Angelcide or whatever the hell it could be called. Jensen reached ‘The Wall,’ ready to pin his new addition to the ever-growing collection when he spotted most of the crew huddled round Misha and his Lap Top.

Misha was holding court, showing the crew his latest find for ‘The Wall’. “It’s a Slave AU and, of course, Jared is the hero. He’s all muscles and Conan the Barbarian, but with better hair. I’m there as the evil overlord and my cruelty to Jensen knows no bounds. It’s by one of my favourite authors _Kripkesbitch69_. It’s called ‘Passion’s Slave.’

As Jared stood there he knew which story that was then he blushed guiltily as he stared at Jensen’s ass. He winced in sympathy when he remembered what “he” had done to that same grateful ass of the newly-freed Prince Jensen. Honestly, the story was really very good and not at all hot in the slightest, thought Jared, trying to dislodge some of the more graphic images from his head. Blushing an even deeper shade of red, he thought he really must clear his browser history in case one of the crew, or worse, Jensen, borrowed his computer.

As for Jensen in the Fic - well, put it this way, all of Misha’s old favourites were there. Jensen being submissive yet brave in the face of his terrible ordeal, and yes, by the end of the Fic, he’d cried. He had the crap beaten out of him, and he was tenderly nursed back to health by Jared.

The only thing that stopped Jensen coming across as a complete girl was the very detailed description of him at one point in the fic. All broad shoulders, pale ivory skin dusted with freckles that were described as looking like shimmering flecks of golden cinnamon. His well-muscled thighs were covered with silky smooth skin, and the fact that only two things covering him were the very well-filled loin cloth and the heavy leather collar round his neck.

All right, the damn fic was addictive, and it helped pass the time away on set between scenes. Jared had sneaked a few of his own links up there too. He was only human, damnit, and some of the girls did have a thing for making Jensen so pretty. At that thought Jared drew himself up short and resolved to help Jensen hunt down some ‘bottom’ Misha fic.

“I think this is one of the best so far,” crowed a delighted Misha. “I felt that my character was well written and was a commanding presence within the story. Jared riding in to help poor enslaved, battered Prince Jensen and his family. The noble savage tamed by Jensen’s huge...eyes.” Misha smirked as he said this, seemingly unaware of his two co-star’s arrival on the scene.

The conversation was taken up by Gina, one of the make-up girls. “I love the part where you have Jensen kneeling before you in chains, begging for his family’s freedom, offering himself to you and then he starts to cry, like on the show. Just the one tear slipping down his face; it just breaks your heart.” Jensen stood watching this with his mouth hanging open, trying to regain his power of speech when one of the grips spoke up

“Oh yeah, I know what you mean. The damn guy is just so beautiful when he cries. Shit! It sets me off too.” All eyes turned to the biggest guy on the set. He even made Jared look normal sized and he was a biker too, for Christ’s sake. Jensen let out a strangled whimper as he stared at the grip, all while Jared struggled with the urge to sweep in front of Jensen and protect him. Misha would just love that. It would prove to Misha that everything the fan girls wrote was true, and they would never hear the end of it. So Jensen was left to defend his own honour. The grip went bright red, suddenly remembering he had to set something up for the next scene.

Misha spotted Jensen, stood and smiled, greeting his friends. “Hail Fartacus and Jensen, it looks like we have a new addition to the collection.” Snatching the now crumpled piece of paper Jensen held, he pinned it to the wall. “I look forward to reading it.” Misha turned back and gave a smile that put Jared in mind of all those documentaries he watched with Jensen about predators on the Discovery channel. Misha moved towards Jensen, grabbing him by the shoulders.

“Jen, what can I say? The fan girls just think you are the prettiest thing they have ever seen, and they want to protect you. Well, that is when they are not beating the crap - hang on, let’s use the technical term here - ‘whumping’ either Dean or yourself.” Jensen had yet to recover his ability to speak when Misha continued. “Now with me they love the angel hair. They all seem to want to touch it and they just love the voice. Now they think Cas should spend his nights holding Dean in his arms. Protecting him from nightmares and wiping away his tears, all while surrounded by my wings or trench coat depending on whom you read.”

Jared stopped breathing because he knew that any second hurricane Ackles would hit, but Jensen still looked like he had been struck by lightning and Jared suddenly realized that Jensen was staring at a picture which now had pride of place on the wall. It was a painting, obviously printed from the computer, and what it depicted made Jared want to sprint over to the wall and rip it down to protect his friend from embarrassment. It showed a fantasy world and the most striking figures were in the foreground. One was Jared dressed in leather amour, holding the biggest sword that he had ever seen and covered in muscles. In fact, the muscles had muscles.

But the figure which caught the eye was Jensen who was kneeling, weighed down with chains, covered in bruises and holy crap! He was only wearing a loin cloth and damn, there was the collar again. He was looking soulfully out of those huge emerald-green eyes (Jared mentally slapped himself. Shit! He really should stop reading fic) which were full of pain. Jared felt he should go and drag Jensen back to his trailer as he had to be in shock after seeing that. He stopped himself when he saw Misha follow Jensen’s gaze, and the smile grew to epic proportions, putting Jared even more in mind of a shark.

“You know, Misha. With that smile, are you sure Eric didn’t audition you for Lucifer? Because dude, I think they gave you the wrong angel.” Jared sagged in relief as Jensen seemed to have rejoined the land of the living.

“What a wonderful idea! Perhaps if I suggested to Eric a dual role, maybe it would mean a pay rise.”

“No, but it might mean that me and Jared get more time off.” Jensen seemed to be fighting off his stupor and looked ready to send Misha to join his brothers in Heaven or likely to join Lucifer in the pit.

“You have to admit though, it’s a great picture. It’s the art for the ‘Big Bang’ story we were discussing. I feel it captures your inner sensitivity, and damn, I would be proud of that package as well.” Misha nodded to the picture; the boys looked more closely and said at the same time, “wow.”

Jensen smirked and drawled in his best Texan “Hell, I don’t remember posing for that.” Jared mentally high-fived him for that comeback, but Misha wasn’t giving up without a fight.

“Jen, you look tired. Maybe you would like Jared to sweep you up in his manly arms and carry you back to your trailer, where he can lay you down and...” Jared had never moved so fast in all his time as Sam. He stepped between Jensen and the soon-to-be ex-angel muttering.

“Jen, the fan girls love Misha! Kripke will not be happy if you kill him.

“How about I maim him just a little?” Jensen growled, trying to get past Jared who smiled when he continued. “Naw, that won’t work either. Chicks dig scars, right?” Jensen squared his shoulders, giving Dean’s trade mark neck roll saying,

“Hey, Misha. I hope you like my entry to ‘The Wall’. It has deep emotional complexity, a fast-moving plot, and great characterization.” He turned, walking away, calling over his shoulder, “Oh yeah and really, really hot wall sex between us. Guess who’s up against the wall? Jensen smiled sweetly as the crew who had been watching gave up all pretence of not listening and ran to where the new link was pinned.

Misha’s eyes narrowed and he intoned in Castiel’s voice “You realize this is war?”

Jensen laughed “Bring it on Tweety Pie. I’ll try not to ruffle your feathers too much.”

Jared followed his friend back to his trailer more than a little worried, and was proven right when, as he stepped inside he was asked “Dude, seriously. Am I that much of a girl? I mean, a lot of the fics have got me being neurotic, OCD and bursting into tears if Kripke or Misha even as much as looks at me funny. And come on, man. Pretty when I cry?” Jensen’s voice rose a little at the end.

Jared froze in place, his flight or fight instinct kicking in. What kind of question was that to spring on someone, Jared thought. It was up there with a girlfriend asking “Does my ass look big in this?” Whatever you said it was like walking through a minefield, high on crack. Jared realized he was taking too long to answer; he could go with honest, “Hell, dude, the fact you have asked me that kinda says a little neurotic, and remember ‘Heart’ and ‘No Rest for the Wicked’? When I cried I looked like a soggy, snotty crumpled mess. When you have to do crying scenes half the crew want to take you home, wrap you up in a blanket, and feed you cookies. The other half wants to rip your clothes off with their teeth, and then feed you cookies to keep your strength up.”

He looked at Jensen’s worried face and took a deep breath “Dude, seriously. I don’t know where the fan girls are coming from. I mean, fuck! They have never been trapped with you in the Impala after a night of chilli and tequila and no, you don’t cry at the drop of a hat. Shit Jen, I cried at ‘Marley and Me’ too.” Jensen’s eyes widened to what Jared liked to call the ‘weapon of mass destruction’. Whenever Dean unleashed that look they all swore you could hear fan girls spontaneously combust, so Jared retaliated with the ‘puppy-dog eyes of doom’. It was a dirty trick but he was desperate and Jensen always folded as quickly as Dean when faced with Sam.

“Dude, I’m sorry, ignore me. I’m being an emo bitch. I’m spending way too much time reading Fic to try and outdo Misha. Hey, how about a quick game of ‘Halo’ instead? Let Misha have his fun. It’s kinda flattering he spends his time reading about us.” Jensen quirked his eyebrow and smirked and Jared reduced his Jensen meltdown scale to defcon three.

They settled down and Jared was beating Jensen when the door to the trailer was flung open and Misha fell through.

“Hey, dude. If you are trying to stop the Apocalypse you’re too late. Me and Sammy here already started that party.” Jensen called out, not taking his eyes from the screen.

“You don’t understand.” a flustered Misha stuttered.

The boys looked at one another, “Jen, if Misha is worrying perhaps it is the apocalypse, or OH MY GOD! Is ‘The Ostroff’ on the set??” Jared cried and they both dropped their controllers in fear. Misha shook his head, trying to catch his breath.

“Can’t you hear all the hammering?” Misha asked.

Jensen said “I just thought they were doing your hair again.”

Misha shot him a dirty look and continued “They are building the torture chamber for the Bruce Campbell episode.” Both men had relaxed. At least ‘The Ostroff’ wasn’t on set and then they replayed what Misha had said.

“What torture chamber?” asked Jensen with a nervous laugh.

“Bruce Campbell?” squeaked Jared.

It was a well-known fact that Bruce was top of Kripke’s wish list for guests and it looked like wishes really did come true. Jensen looked from Misha to Jared and said “You don’t think Eric has tried to sell Ben’s soul at a crossroads again, do ya?”

Jared shook his head, replying “Naw, from what I heard the Crossroad demon was too scared about the havoc Ben could cause down there and said no but was prepared to accept a night of kinky sex from the hottest guy on set”

“Damn! I hate it when they ask for kinky. I’m just not into being tied up.” Jensen drawled and high-fived Jared for the set-up. He looked thoughtfully at Misha

“Misha, you seem to know what’s going on. Would you like to share with the rest of the class and more importantly, how did you find out?”

Misha shrugged.

“Well, it seems that Bruce is going to play a demon and that someone is going to be getting a shirtless torture scene, and I bribed the PA girls with the promise of photos of you and Jared in the shower.”

“Please tell me you made it clear that we don’t shower together because Genève will kill me.” whimpered Jared. Misha’s face lit up at the prospect.

Jensen narrowed his eyes “Collins, don’t even think it. I think we need to know who the sacrificial lamb for the fan girls is.” Misha looked mournfully at Jensen and ran his hand through his hair. Jensen couldn’t help but think and hello, Cas is in the building.

“Sadly I couldn’t get that information unless, of course, you wouldn’t mind stripping off and putting this on?”Misha held out the smallest towel, well, OK, wash cloth Jared had ever seen

“Not wishing to appear ungrateful, but which one of us is gonna wear that?” Jensen asked, backing away from the offending item.

“Well, the girls weren’t too particular, just as long as it was one of us, but I ruled myself out as I would be manning the camera,” beamed Misha. “So who is ready to take one for the team?” he waved the scrap of material at them while he tried to retrieve his camera from Cas’s coat.

“Hang on a minute. We may be able to work out who needs to spend time at the gym, and oh yeah, getting waxed.” Jensen said thoughtfully. While the three of them shuddered at the idea, he carried on “Right Misha, who wrote the episode?”

Misha brightened “Oh, that’s easy, it was Sera.”

Jensen turned to Jared with an expression of sympathy “Dude, what can I say? Just, damn, I’m sorry.” Jared collapsed back onto the couch, putting his head in his hands. Jensen patted his shoulder, “I mean, she loves getting your shirt off and making you cry. Maybe she will hit the mother lode this time, you crying while shirtless and tied up.” Jared let out a pitiful moan, looking up at his best friend only to realize the bastard was grinning. Jared unfolded himself, murder in his eyes, stepping towards his soon-to-be dead best friend.

“Well, how can you be sure it’s going to be Jared? It could be me or even you." Misha interrupted.

Jensen smiled “There are certain writers and directors who we know will put us through Hell. For Jared it tends to be Sera, me it’s Eric and used to be Kim. And we are still waiting to see who is gonna pick up the angelic bitch slapping”

A knock came at the door and crap, it was Eric. “Guys, can you come with me a moment, please?”

They followed Eric, feeling like they had been called to the principal’s office, the four of them walked towards sounds of frantic industry. They rounded the corner, shared a look and Jared muttered out of the corner of his mouth “Maybe we can make a break for the Impala and get the hell out of Dodge”

The sight which had greeted them would have made Alistair weep with joy. The basic set design was the Meat Packing Warehouse recycled for ‘On the Head of a Pin’ but it looked as if the interior designers had been in and their main palette had been red, if the blood on the walls had been anything to go by. It had been liberally splattered and it looked as if some of the props from ‘A Very Supernatural Christmas’ had been pressed into service.

The most frightening thing in the room stood in the middle of all the carnage. It looked like...“Fuck! Is that a rack?” hissed Jared and yes, it looked as if Supernatural had managed to get hold of what appeared to be a fully functioning Medieval rack.

Misha reached for Jensen’s arm and hissed urgently “Jen, I think we should be worried. After all, Jared is way too tall for that to have an effect!”

Jensen couldn’t tear his eyes from the gruesome piece of equipment, responding shakily, “Sera is writing this, dude. We’ll be fine. She has been trying for this for four seasons, so Jay, man, I’m truly sorry because shit, that thing looks really fucking real.” Jensen turned to sympathize with his friend only to see Jared frozen to the spot.

“Jay? Speak to me, man?” Jared appeared to have gone into shock. Jensen grabbed him “Quick, Misha, go and grab my emergency candy stash. It’s hidden behind my dartboard!” Jared blinked

“So that’s where you’ve been hiding your stash, you sneaky bastard!” croaked Jared.

Jensen relaxed, “Looks like I’m gonna have to find a new hiding place, but damn, it’s good to have you back, dude.”

The three of them became aware they were being watched by Eric; they quickly leaped apart and tried to act as if Jared going into catatonic shock was an everyday happening.

“Ok, now you seem to be with me again, I have some news but something tells me that you have an idea what is going on?” Eric waited for an answer, three grown men shuffled like guilty teenagers. Misha tilted his head, his face a picture of Castiel bemusement. Jensen ran his hand through his hair and Jared gave his ‘puppy caught doing something wrong’ look

“Hmm, well, let me clear up any gossip you guys may have heard. We have a very special guest joining us - Bruce Campbell.” Eric was practically bouncing up and down, reminding Jensen of Jared when he had too much sugar.

“The only problem is we have a very narrow window of opportunity to film with Bruce, so we have to shuffle our filming around. Now I know you are worried about the quality of the episode but let me assure you, Sera has been working on this for some considerable time.” Eric ignored Jared’s visible flinch and Jensen and Misha’s not so subtle gestures of support. Eric continued as if nothing had happened

“You would have had the script in a couple of weeks but as we have had this marvellous chance we had to grab it. So I have the pages you need, and we will be filming tomorrow with Bruce and he will only be with us a maximum of two days so we will be working on his scenes first. I just can’t believe we got him! Eric was passing the pages out; Misha and Jared snatched them and started to read through frantically. Jensen was still staring at the rack and asked Eric,

“Dude, I know we are really good at improvising, what with the non-existent budget an’ all, but where the hell did we get some of this stuff?” Jensen had wandered over to a table covered with the “tools of the trade,” picking up a cat-of-nine-tails in one hand and shit, were they thumb screws? Suddenly Eric looked shifty

“The story we have is brilliant. Bruce’s demon was a rival of Alistair from Down Under and…” Jensen had picked up some shackles now and quirked the eyebrow of doom at Eric “Oh fine, Jensen. Look, we didn’t have time to build all of this, so we are operating ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy on some of the props.”

Jared had been speed reading intently when the words “Who the fuck had a rack?” filtered through from Jensen in an awestruck voice.

“We felt that an anonymous amnesty was for the best! “ Eric responded and by now, he too was eyeing the rack warily as if it might suddenly leap forward and attack one of them.

Misha let out a gasp, grabbed Jared, thrusting the script under his nose; he had trouble reading it as Misha’s hand was shaking so much. Jared’s head shot up so fast Misha thought he may get whiplash. Jared stared at Jensen. Shit! He had to get to him before he read the script. He shot forward, catching his foot on some chains when Eric actually squeaked and turned bright red. Jensen stared at him. Dear God! Eric’s turned into a fan girl; the reason for the apparent possession became clear.

Bruce Campbell strode onto the set, looking round him. He walked up to the rack, nodding his approval and by way of greeting his co- stars he said, “So then, where is the pretty I’m strapping onto this bad boy, then?” He looked round until he spotted Jensen.

Jared, by now, had managed to reach his friend but he was too late. Bruce boomed out.

“So we meet at last, Dean Winchester. I’m really looking forward to this, the scenes are just so well written. Not only do I get some great comedy, I also get the chance to find out if you could to be as tall as your brother.” Bruce clapped Jensen hard on the shoulder and he staggered into Jared.

Jensen’s eyes were so wide by now Jared wondered if they should warn low-flying aircraft to avoid his eyelashes.

Bruce turned to Eric, “Just to get this straight. My character was always pissed that Alistair got to have all the fun with Dean and what with the boss being out, he is top side and has managed to catch the Winchesters and their pet angel. I love the “deal” he offers Dean.”

In the background Jensen could faintly hear pages being rapidly turned, and then a murmured “Oh shit” from Misha.

“I mean, it’s almost poetry the way Sera has written it. What was it? Oh yeah....

Listen, Deano, I don’t give a crap about horsemen, and God and the boss going mano-a-mano. All I want is to see you break for me. Alistair crowed about you for so long. Well, I know if I got ya, you would’ve gone quicker than thirty, whaddya say? You and me play together until the dawn. If you don’t break and I promise I’ll let little Sammy and Cas go; as I’m feeling generous they can even take what is left of you with em! If not, how about I see if the Winchester stubborn streak runs through little bro, huh? Oh, and no kissing. You’re hot and all that, but you just don’t do it for me.”

Jensen’s knees buckled at that and Jared propped him up. Bruce had an unholy light in his eyes and Jensen was ready to beg for mercy right there, but Bruce was still not finished

“I mean, the scene where Dean willingly walks up to the rack after he has said his tearful goodbyes just gets you right here.”

He gave a casual shove to Jensen’s chest. Jared felt Jensen’s muscles bunch under his shirts and he braced for Jensen defcon one. Bruce hugged Eric turned and left with a jaunty “Hey Jensen, get some rest, we have a long day tomorrow.”

The first thing Jensen managed to say was “Please don’t tell me that I’m the one who actually removes my shirt?” Eric wisely put distance between himself and his stars, checking to see if Jared had a grip on Jensen.

Eric continued once he was assured Jared had indeed got a good grip of Jensen’s shirt. “Look, Jensen, it’s not just about the shirt coming off. Well, ok, it’s a lot about the shirt coming off. This really advances the mythology; Bruce’s demon tells Dean that Alistair had outside help to break him, like Uriel says - the right kind of pressure. That it was Zachariah giving the help to ensure Dean broke, and the seals started to fall. Bruce goes on to tell Dean that if he’d been in charge, he would never have needed help to break him and this is the chance to prove it.” While Eric was telling Jensen this he was playing with a prop knife. At least, Jared hoped it was a prop knife in case Jensen got hold of it.

“To recap then, I'm going to be shirtless, strapped to one of the crew's recreational torture implements and you’re gonna let Bruce “Ash” Campbell loose on the wheels controlling it?” Jensen enquired sweetly, attempting to reign in his ever-increasing panic.

Eric nodded happily to Jensen before saying “You know I had to work really hard to convince Sera to torture Dean. She was all for playing with her favourite Winchester, having Sam face down Bruce to protect Dean from having to go through all that again. Then I pointed out that it’s perfect Dean material - the self sacrifice, and anything to protect Sammy. Now he's protecting Cas as well, it’s gonna be so great for me to direct. Now if you guys will excuse me I have to go and see how the angel-proof cell is going next door. I mean, can you guys believe it? I’m gonna be directing Bruce Campbell and I've told him he can ad lib a little with the physical stuff, because I know you'll be fine with it, Jen.” With that, Eric backed away and practically ran beaming from the set, leaving his three cast members to digest what had happened.

For a few moments everything remained quiet, then Misha slumped in relief, knowing he'd dodged a bullet, and Jared gradually let go of Jensen to see if he'd be able to stand without support. Jared was staring worriedly at Jensen; he even waved his hand in front of his face, and nothing happened. Jared grabbed his shirt again, shaking him gently “Jen! Dude, speak to me.” Jensen didn't respond; he was gazing fixedly over Jared’s shoulder at the rack, “Misha, don't just stand there! Help me get Jen back to his trailer”

Jared pulled Jensen round, and positioned Misha to help him get Jensen moving when Misha spoke, “You're right, we have to get Jen ready for tomorrow. I mean, it’s too late for the gym, but we can get Gina to wax his chest.” Misha helpfully suggested with the air of a man who'd been given a reprieve on Death Row. Jensen regained his composure and glared at his two co-stars who were desperately trying not to look too relieved at their lucky escape.

Misha took one look at the Dean who had just seen a ‘fugly hurt Sam expression’ on Jensen's face and attempted to salvage the situation. “I mean, we should go and run some dialogue.” To prove the point Misha flipped through his script “Though, in your case, Jensen, it’s mostly a lot of screaming, a few whimpers. Son of a bitch but there is some great snark on page thirty!”

Misha heard the sharp intake of breath from Jared and he realized that he was dealing with an unexploded Jensen, possibly one of the most unstable elements known to man and fan girl. Jensen straightened, fixed Misha with a glare and growled “I don’t give a flying fuck about snark. Have you seen that goddamn rack?” Jensen’s arms flailed towards the offending item, and then he paused before adding “Classic Dean or post-hell Dean? Not that there hasn’t been a few gems there either.” Jared grinned at that. Once an actor always an actor, even when faced with what could be certain doom. Or at least six months physical therapy, if things went wrong.

“Look, Jen, be reasonable. Do you really think any of the crew would use a defective rack?” Misha frowned, realizing what he’d just said but he ploughed on, regardless. “They’re paranoid about safety with a regular cast of two. Sorry, now three. They daren’t mutilate any of us too badly, and besides, have you noticed any crew walking funny because they’ve had too much fun with it.”

Jared tried desperately not to think about the grip from earlier when he noticed Jensen furiously shaking his head and backing away, ready to bolt. Under the circumstances Jared wholeheartedly agreed with Jensen’s discretion being the better part of valour attitude. Jared decided to he’d better get the two idiots back to his trailer where he could keep an eye on them. He started walking, thinking Jensen and Misha were following, continuing their bickering as they went

“You know you’re being more than a little girly about this, Jen. It’s only a little rack, and how much damage could it do? I mean, look how heroic Dean is about it. Show some Winchester resolve” Misha taunted.

“Tell ya what. Let me strap you to it and see if I can improve your wing span.” Jensen shot back.

The bickering continued but it was getting quieter. Jared thought they had finally run out of steam. He turned to speak to them but Jensen and Misha were not behind him. Jared found himself by ‘The Wall,’ his eyes were drawn back to the picture from earlier. There was something about it; a thought kept whispering at the back of Jared’s mind as he found himself staring intently at the kneeling figure of Jensen. It was just hovering out of reach; Jared tilted his head trying to get a better look. Then two things occurred to him. The first was if anyone came round the corner, they would see him staring at picture of a kneeling, nearly-naked Jensen with an intensity that rivalled any of Sam’s ‘you're my brother and I’d die for you’ looks, and shit, he wasn’t alone anymore.

Jared flushed and stammered at the new arrival. It was Justin, one of the guys from the props department. He had a wry smile on his face. “It’s not what it looks like.” began Jared.

Justin’s smile grew bigger “Dude, don’t worry. Most of the guys have been doin’ exactly the same as you. I mean, damn, have you looked at that bulge? Seriously, if that’s real, Jensen should be damn proud. That’s all I’m saying.”

Jared grinned back “I can’t possibly say. Even though we share a home, and despite what the fan girls think, I don’t keep Jensen chained, naked to my bed. That’s Jeff‘s job.”

Both men laughed and Jared noticed that Justin was carrying four long bolts. Justin raised the bolts in his hand and said, still smiling, “I’d better get to my rack and finish setting it up. I was called away to help set up the shackles that bleed for when Dean’s been on the rack a while. See ya, Jared.”

He gaped in astonishment. Justin was the last person who he thought would’ve been into that kind of thing - quiet, church-going, blushed if he swore. Perhaps Eric was right. Don’t ask, don’t tell was the best way, but Jared really couldn’t help himself.

“So that’s your rack then? And what are the bolts for?” Jared enquired, dying to hear the answer.

Justin’s face lit up with pride “Oh yeah, she’s a beauty, isn’t she? Took me and the guys a long time to get the action just right. My kid just loves it!” Jared’s eyes widened and he backed away a little.

“What? Me and the guys built it for my kid’s school project. We had a weekend free. But after we finished it Sheryl said we couldn’t send him with that, so we built him a scaled-down Catapult instead. Turned out to be worse though, he broke the Principal's window with it. I had to go an’ apologise for a job too well done.” Jared started laughing. He thought, ‘wait till I tell Jensen and Misha they’re scared of a high school history project.’

Justin continued “As for the bolts, well, they just make sure the rack’s completely safe.” Justin went to walk away. Jared laid a hand on his arm and gave him a quizzical look “Come on, Jay, me and the guys built this. It just has a few surprises, that’s all.”

A sudden thrill of apprehension skittered down Jared’s spine. He croaked “What surprises?”

Justin shrugged “Ok. See, if these bolts are in place, the rack will just tighten up slow with each turn of the wheel - it can’t actually pull a man apart like it should. Sure, it will put tension on the muscles but it ain’t strong enough to dislocate anything. Now when we built it we spring loaded it. If it’s used without the bolts and with the special dummy the effects guys put together, it’s a whole different story.”

By now Jared was bouncing from foot to foot, he was making Justin nervous but it seemed like he wanted to know. Justin finished up his explanation. “Well, if you turn the wheel three times, the springs engage and it rips the arms and legs clean off the dummy. Damn, it’s a hoot when that happens. You should see people’s faces.”

Justin's voice died away when he saw the expression on Jared's face. Jared clutched the stunned man's arms and gritted out “And if some macho idiot and his brain-dead angel decided to try it out before the bolts were in place?”

Justin swallowed convulsively, rasping a shaky reply “Dude, I don't know. It can pull apart a heavy-duty effects dummy. You know how built they are. I suppose it would have to cause some damage, I just don't know how much!”

Jared let go and started sprinting for the set, Justin in hot pursuit. At that moment an ear-splitting scream rang through the air. Jared knew who'd made that sound, he increased his speed. Jared rounded the corner back onto the set, screeching to a sudden stop at the sight that greeted him.

Misha was hanging onto the wheel in what appeared like an attempt to stop the rack performing its function of tearing someone apart. Jensen was strapped to it, looking for the entire world as if he was dead or at least doing a great job of dying. Behind Jared mayhem was breaking out. He narrowly avoided being trampled by Eric and the crew hurtling towards the source of the noise.

Justin pushed past Jared, taking charge of the situation, “Get the fuck over here now, and help Misha hold the wheels while I attach the bolts.” Jared joined Misha in holding onto the wheel, a shock running through him when he felt just how much pull there was. All he could think was “Fuck! Please let Jensen be in one piece! I swear if Eric doesn't kill these two idiots, I will.”

Jared glanced across to Misha; he was ashen and Jared thought he was going to be sick. All the while Justin was slamming the bolts into position.

“OK, guys, now we're gonna slowly turn the wheels back and loosen the tension.” He looked up and caught Jared's horrified expression and explained “Too quick and we could do even more damage.” In the distance Jared could hear the sound of sirens. Shit! They'd called an ambulance.

Jared heard Eric speaking; at first it was like hearing through water. “Merely a precaution, Jared. Don't worry. He’ll be up and back having the crap kicked out of him in no time.” Eric grinned nervously as he was faced with Sam’s ‘Bitch Face no 1.’ Eric then attempted to prise Misha's hands from the wheel with little success; in the end Jared had to help. Besides, he couldn't kill Misha while he was still attached to the rack - it might upset Jensen. Plus, he wanted the element of surprise when he throttled Jensen for being a complete moron.

Jared caught Misha by the shoulders and dragged him back as the EMTs arrived on the scene. The set was a hive of activity. Jared could hear Justin explaining a stunt had gone wrong, and there may be back injury. With that a back board appeared and preparations were under way to transfer Jensen’s frighteningly still form onto it. In a matter of seconds, he was strapped immobile to the board and was being carried away to the waiting ambulance. It was at that precise moment Jared decided to strike. Grabbing Misha by the lapels of his coat he almost lifted the hapless man off his feet. “Start talking, right the fuck now.”

“Jay, let go of me and I’ll explain.” He gasped out. Jared released him and looking even more rumpled than normal, he gazed after the retreating figures of the EMTS and the unconscious Jensen.

They watched as Eric climbed into the ambulance with Jensen, he turned back and addressed his troops. “I think it’s best we call a halt for today. I’ll let you know what’s gonna happen tomorrow.” He sat down and the door closed behind him. He knew that by the time the ambulance had cleared the set most of the crew would follow it. They would follow out of concern for Jensen and to see if they could use pictures of Jensen’s injuries for make-up reference. Tears pricked at his eyes. Damn! He was proud of the crew’s work ethic.

Jared turned back to Misha who was still trapped in his grip. Misha swallowed hard, “Look! Just promise me you won’t kill me, right.” Jared’s stony expression was making no promises. Misha sighed, “We were still arguing after you walked off, and I may have suggested he’d be more at home on ‘Glee’ with the way he was behaving about a prop rack.” Jared’s face darkened to Lilith-killing proportions.

“Look, Jared. How the hell were we supposed to know the damn thing functioned? I even went and tried the wheels out and they just spun. No tension, nothing? So Jensen swaggered up to it, got on and....”

“And when he was tied to it you turned the wheel three times and all hell broke loose.” Misha nodded miserably. “As much as I hate to admit it, you two lunatics weren’t to know that it’d been made by the crew.”

“From what Justin told me about it, the rack needed body weight to make it trigger. So either the dummy or Jensen would’ve helped to trigger it.” Jared turned to see Cliff standing there, “I’ve come to take you ladies to the hospital.”

Jared smiled, “Well, Cliff, after this I’m not sure there is much difference between a dummy and Jensen, and when I get to the ER I might just tell him that. Besides, I want to hear about that damn scream.” With that, Jared pulled Misha towards the car.

Once they were under way Jared turned to Misha, “Well, come on, then. You two were role-playing Alistair and Dean....”

Misha shifted uncomfortably, “Alright, I turned the wheel. Fine, nothing terrible. So I started doing my Alistair impression, all Marlon Brando on acid. And Jensen let Dean out to play and everything was fine until I turned the wheel the third time. It was as if it had a mind of its own. Next thing I knew Jensen was slammed back against the rack and out cold.”

“So let me get this right. Jensen never had a chance to scream?” Jared asked, puzzled.

Misha appeared to be embarrassed, “That was me - it was the shock. One minute we were joking around, and the next it had all gone to hell. Oh shit, Jared! What if I’ve really hurt him?” Misha looked so dejected Jared decided to take pity on him.

“Look, if I know Jensen he’ll be kicking himself for being so damn stupid. We’ll just have to see what they say at the hospital. Don’t worry, Misha. I’m sure he’ll be fine.” Jared mentally added to himself - Hell, he might even be as tall as me, he’s always wanted that.

  



	2. Chapter 2

Cliff pulled up at the hospital, “Ok, we’re here. I’ll park and join you guys as soon as I can. You two go and find out how many nurses our brave little hunter has caused to faint this time.” Cliff grinned at the two men as they got out and drove away.

As they walked into the E.R Misha asked “Which way?”

Jared surveyed the scene, and smiled, “Right, Misha. When I came in after I broke my wrist, Jensen had to catch up with me. He said all he had to do was follow the follow the trail of panting nurses.” With that, he nodded his head towards the nursing staff.

Misha stood opened mouthed at what he saw. Jared had been right; there was a clear path. It appeared that Jensen had cut a swathe of devastation, as he had passed by on the gurney. Judging by the sight in front of them a small war had broken out outside one of the rooms - it was all over who was going to undress Jensen.

Both men grinned and walked towards the melee, followed by a strange noise. Misha looked at Jared, puzzlement on his face, “No, it’s not the air conditioning on the fritz, and it’s sighing. You get used to it after your third or fourth visit to the E.R. Oh, hi there, Esther. Are the kids alright?”

The middle-aged nurse went bright red, nearly dropping the full bed pan she was carrying. Misha shook his head in amusement, coming to a halt by the room were the nurses were arguing. Eric was stood there with an amused expression on his face. He beckoned the other two men over to him, “Can you hear that energetic little debate going on in there?”

As he said that they heard a cry of “Ow, you bitch! That fucking hurt, I thought we said no hair pulling.” The voice was decidedly masculine.

Eric just grinned harder, “It appears there are several volunteers for the job of removing Jensen’s clothing, and it’s getting a mite frisky in there.” Jared grinned excitedly and fetched his phone out of his pocket to take pictures.

Misha tapped him on the shoulder, “Got any popcorn? Because this is entertainment at its best! Perhaps I should tweet my minions and give them some inspiration for more fic.”

Just then the head nurse elbowed her way into the room as Jared began filming. As he did so six very disgruntled nurses slunk away, two looked like there might be black eyes in the near future. And the two male nurses kept shooting daggers at one another. “Hey Misha, you do that and I promise to help Jensen dispose of the body. Besides, this makes for a great convention story.” With that, he stopped filming.

“I have to say, damn, I’m jealous. Six nurses to get him naked and I can’t wait to let him know two were male.” Misha laughed with a wicked gleam in his eyes. Just then a doctor approached and took Eric to one side. The doctor departed and Eric returned to speak to Jared and Misha.

“Ok fellas, here’s the deal. They’ve just gotten Jensen into X-Ray and we need to wait here for a while. It seems they want to keep him overnight just to be safe. Excuse me, guys, it seems Jensen wants a few words with me.” Eric vanished, leaving Misha and Jared to wait.

They sat together in silence. Just then Cliff appeared, walked over and sat down with them. “Ok, what have I missed? The crew ended up having to stay behind so I promised them I’d keep them updated and also to take pictures of any injuries so the makeup girls have some reference material. They’re already planning on using the pictures for the next time they hurt Dean...so that’s next week then.” They all laughed and settled down to wait.

Finally Eric returned. He was on his phone and was cheerfully ignoring the nurse pointing at the ‘no mobile phone’ sign. He finished his call and stood in front of them, “Ok guys, you can go in now. Listen, I’ll be there in a minute. I just need to make another call and I think the nurse will want to use me as a pin cushion if I make it in here.”

Jared and Misha stood up; they approached the door to Jensen’s room. They shared a look with one another, and finally Misha shoved Jared though the door. Jared staggered inside and then he halted suddenly, looking at the bed in shock. Misha was talking to Cliff and didn’t realize Jared had stopped; he crashed into the solid wall of muscle that was his co-star. He was only stopped from collapsing in a crumpled heap by Cliff grabbing the collar of Cas’ trench coat.

“Holy shit!” Jared breathed, his voice a reverential whisper. Misha dusted himself down and stepped from behind him, muttering about Sasquatches needing to watch where they stopped. Then Misha looked up and found himself at a loss for words.

“Oh....I...Errr” he shot a worried look at Jared; he didn’t seemed to have blinked since he saw Jensen. To Jared, the figure lying on the bed reminded him of Dean at the end of ‘On the Head of a Pin’. The only thing missing was the nasal cannula and finger marks round his throat.

Misha elbowed Jared in the ribs, “Oh my god, Jared, just look at him! He looks so...” Jared nodded in agreement.

“Shit, I know what you mean, Misha. He looks so....”

“If the next word out of either of your mouths is ‘fragile’, I swear I’m gonna knock one or both of you the fuck out.” Jensen growled at them as his eyes snapped open and he grimaced slightly.

“Jay, can you pass the bed remote? Shit! Lying like this is killing me.” Jensen was groping around for the control that would raise the bed. Jared moved swiftly to the side of the bed.

Before he handed over the remote he asked, “Are you sure? You’re not gonna do any permanent damage by doing this, are you?” Jensen glared as he snatched the remote from Jared’s fingers.

“Dude, stop looking at me like I’m about to bleed out all over the place. Honestly, it’s not that bad. It just set off an old injury making my back spasm. I’ll be fine in a couple of days.” With that he adjusted the bed until he was comfortable. Misha stood the other side of the bed, his face a picture of concern. Jensen rolled his eyes at the look of angelic empathy.

“Alright, I screwed my back on ‘Dark Angel’, and if I’m not careful it flares up again. I think nearly being pulled in half by a rack counts as not being careful. Can somebody tell me how many nurses it takes to put someone in a hospital gown that leaves your ass hanging out? Seriously, at one point I thought I was re-enacting that damn ‘Tentacle’ fic Jared found the other week.”

Misha’s head shot up and a shit-eating grin appeared, “I wondered where all the kinky shit was coming from! Why Padalecki, you sly dog. So it was you who posted the fic about a cross-dressing Jensen being saved from a gang of hairy bikers by a heroic pizza delivery dude! And how grateful ‘Jenny’ was when you were alone. Damn, it’s always the quiet ones.” Jensen raised his eyebrows at the description of Jared as quiet. Jared was blushing so hard that Jensen was seriously considering ringing for the nurse to ask for sunscreen so he didn’t get sunburnt.

Jared coughed and pulled himself together; he smiled at Jensen and said sweetly. “I believe that kind of delicate operation takes six nurses.” Jensen whistled at that.

“Six? Wow, were they all hot?” Jensen enquired with interest. Jared fetched out his phone found the video clip and put it where Jensen could see.

“Oh yeah man, real hot...especially the two guys!” Jensen looked horrified when he heard that, making Jared and Misha laugh.

“Oh god! You can see the fic now, can’t you? My broken body being carried in here by a sobbing Jared. Misha having to speak in soothing tones to get you to let go of me. And if either of you are starting to feel the need to sit and hold my hand while stroking my forehead, the door is over there. Don’t let it hit you on the ass. And Misha, if even one of your minions mentions the words ‘rack’ or ‘abused body’ in a fic, I promise a long and painful revenge. And Jared, don’t forget I have pictures and I’m prepared to use them.”

Both men looked terrified at the prospect, Misha recovered first, “What photographs? Oh, please let it involve gay chicken and a half-naked Jared!” As he said it he closed his eyes and waited for the response.

“Why Misha, I didn’t know you felt like that? If you offer Jared his weight in gummy worms I’m sure something could be arranged. Listen, guys, as much as I’m enjoying your comforting presence here by my sick bed, surely you have better things to do. Jared go home, take care of the kids, and Misha don’t you want to be with your wife?”

There was something in the way Jensen said it. Jared narrowed his eyes and then grinned, “I get it, you're gonna get some heavy duty painkillers. Misha, it’s better than You Tube; no way am I going home now.” Jared grinned evilly.

“Are we talking unutterably cute ramblings and seriously wide eyes here? You know - the kind that would make an amine character green with envy.” Misha’s face lit up at the prospect of seeing Jensen defenceless. Maybe, at last, he would be able to prove his two co-stars were at it like rabbits, and all his hard work sneaking around, trying to get pictures would finally be vindicated.

“Collins, if one word of this gets on Twitter I’ll set Cliff on you.” Jensen sounded a little shrill when he saw Misha reach for his phone.

Eric walked into the room and stood, listening; he felt that he should rescue Jensen from his friends. After all, he knew what the fall-out would be. There were still PAs in therapy after the last prank war; the studio couldn’t afford the medical bills. “Ok, guys, it really is time for you to go home, and just to be sure, I’m leaving strict instructions that if either of you try to sneak back in I’m to be called. Don’t forget, fellas, I’ve got all the outtakes and I will leak them onto the net.” Misha and Jared began to move to the door at high speed.

Eric held up his hand to speak, “Before you leave your co-star to recuperate just to let you know you have a very late call tomorrow. Due to all the upheaval we’re going to start around midday. We should be able to get some scenes with Bruce and then we’ll have to take it from there. Have a good evening, guys and don’t forget to say goodnight to Jensen.” Eric grinned as the two men stammered their goodbyes.

Eric winked at Jensen, “Try to get some sleep, Jensen. By the way are you sure about this?” Eric was pensive as he asked the question.

“Yeah, trust me, Eric, I might as well get it over with. Just promise me Jared will be miles away.” Jensen gave a weak smile, knowing that if Jared found out what he was about to do he’d kill him and then salt and burn the remains. Eric’s face lit up on hearing that. At least Eric was going to be happy, Jensen mused, and he’d owe him for this.

When Cliff dropped Jared off at home, he fed the dogs, sat down and looked at the revised script for the next day. Then he’d gotten bored. Shit! He missed having Jensen around and if Misha ever heard that one then Jared would be forced to leave the country and live as a hermit in Outer Mongolia.

He sat for a few minutes flicking from channel to channel; there was nothing worth watching on the TV. He was trying to resist the call of his lap top and the fan fiction sites. No, he would be strong; it would be wrong to read that kind of thing while Jensen lay suffering in hospital. Then again, he could try and find some fics where Misha got mangled to cheer Jensen up, purely in the name of research, of course, and to help Jensen feel better. With that, he got up, went to the fridge, got a couple of beers and settled down to his research.

When Cliff arrived the next day, Jared opened the door and Cliff whistled, “Shit, Jay! Did you sit up all night worried about Jensen? You know, clutching one of his shirts, weeping into it? I know you paced the floor all night haunted by fears of what was happening to your one true love? Cliff roared with laughter as Jared flipped him the finger.

Jared shut the door and passed Cliff a bag, “No, I didn’t sit weeping all night. I just rang the hospital on the hour every hour. No, I sat reading fic like a moron. Next thing I knew it was two o’clock in the goddamn morning and I’m shattered. But according to the script I’m supposed to be an exhausted wreck waiting to see if Dean is gonna be fine. Just think of it as helping Gina and Co.” Jared took a swig of coffee as they walked to the SVU.

“What’s with the bag, Jay? Are you gonna elope with Misha and break Jensen’s heart? Do you know what the fan girls will do to you if you do that? If you’re gonna run off with someone I think they’ll forgive you Christian Kane, but Misha, not so much.” Cliff opened the trunk and put the bag inside.

“No, it’s some clothes for Jensen; if they discharge him today I thought he might like his own clothes to come home in and not Dean’s. Besides, those jeans are that damn tight they could cut his circulation off and damage his back permanently.” Cliff roared with laughter as they drove away.

When Jared walked on set, he made his way straight to make-up. Admittedly they really wouldn’t have to work too hard to make him look exhausted; he staggered through the door and collapsed dramatically into the make-up chair. “Ok Gina, it’s time to achieve the impossible - make me look less than beautiful.” Jared grinned and his dimples did a victory dance.

Gina turned round, she was mixing a pot of fake blood. She leant over Jared, stared at him and purred “Honey, I hate to have to break this to ya, but the last time I saw bags as big as that I was carryin’ my groceries in them. But I’m a professional - I’ll see what I can do.”

As she turned away Jared picked up the fake blood, “Hey Gina, what do we need the blood for? I thought that Jensen was the only one bleeding, have they changed the script again? Shit! Are we sure the Trickster isn’t real and dickin’ us around?” As Jared said this Gina stiffened and quickly took the jar off him.

Before she had time to respond the trailer door slammed open and Bruce strode in; he grinned with delight when he saw Jared. He walked past and sat in the empty chair beside him, “Afternoon, Jared, are you getting ready for your emotionally charged scene with yours truly? Are you ready to beg, deal and finally offer yourself in Dean’s place? Man, I gotta say I’m looking forward to seeing Bitch Face No 9! Apparently it only comes out when Sam is in mortal fear of what’s left of Dean’s body. I hope you’re ready to fire that one up ‘cause I gotta say he’s a mess right now.” With that, Bruce relaxed back in the chair and waved blood-covered hands at Jared.

Jared narrowed his eyes, looked at the blood-covered hands, then at the jar and finally at Gina. She suddenly seemed to be trying to back away very slowly, without drawing attention to the fact she was trying to escape. “Wow, Bruce, that’s a lot of blood for a reaction scene, but that’s our guys for you, always ready to go that extra mile. How long you been on set?” Jared rested his chin on his hand, his face a picture of innocence.

He ignored the sound of Gina trying to open the trailer door silently; he waited for Bruce to answer. Bruce smiled and stretched, “Shit, kid, I’ve been here since the ass crack of dawn. They ain’t kidding when they say you guys are the hardest worked in the industry! I’d complain, but to tell the truth, Eric’s kinda scary when he gets goin’. But man, I have nothing but admiration for Jensen. I heard what happened yesterday and to get out of hospital and get back up on the horse...sorry, rack, so to speak. I admit I’ve done some crazy shit, but even I’d think twice about that.” Bruce looked at Jared and then at Gina who was frantically shaking her head, trying to stop him from talking.

“So let me get this straight. Jensen, who should be high on painkillers in a nice, comfortable hospital bed, is somewhere on set, strapped to the rack, having spent the whole morning being tortured by you?” Bruce licked his lips when he saw the expression on Jared’s face. It had gone from sunny, boyish and puppy to brooding, dark and I’m gonna kill somebody and leave the body for the buzzards. All Bruce could do was nod and wonder if it would be deemed cowardly to use Gina as a human shield.

Jared slowly stood up; he looked over to Gina who moved away from the door and seemed to be praying silently, “Bruce, please excuse me, I just need to go and speak to my idiot of a big brother...sorry co-star. I feel that one of us should remind him he should be resting.”

“Well, he’s lying down if that helps. “ Bruce winced when he said that to Jared’s retreating back. Jared looked over his shoulder and Bruce stopped breathing. Finally after a couple of seconds Jared continued out of the trailer. Bruce slumped in his seat; he looked over at Gina who was shakily trying to use her phone. “I take it that was Bitch Face no 9, right?” Bruce asked awe-struck.

Gina shook her head frantically, finally managing to hit the speed dial, “Cliff, get your ass on set. Jay’s just found out Jensen’s here. We’re talking an emergency...no, it’s worse than No 12; he broke out Bitch Face No1.” With that she finished the call and looked heavenwards.

“I take it Bitch Face No 1 is bad then?” Bruce asked nervously

“Trust me, it’s beyond bad. Jared only breaks that one out if Jensen gets hurt. It usually means that somebody is about to be Sasquatched, but this time Jensen is involved so I have no idea what’s gonna happen.” Gina was thoughtful; she picked up her phone again.

“Are you calling the police?” Bruce enquired.

“Oh, hell no, I’m texting Misha and the crew. They’re gonna want to see this, so if you’ll excuse me I just have to take this blood on set.” With that, Gina sprinted off.

Jared moved quietly, he was approaching the torture chamber set and he could see Eric was bent over the rack talking to a figure bound to it. Jared also recognised the set doctor who seemed apprehensive about what was happening. Jared moved closer and he could hear Eric speaking to Jensen, “You’re doing brilliantly, Jen, we’re nearly done. Just as long as Jared stays away from here we should be finished before much longer and we can get you loose.” Just as Eric stood up he saw Jensen’s eyes widen in shock. Eric felt a shiver run down his spine; he knew who was behind him.

“Listen, Jay, we can explain. It’s a really funny story actually.” Eric squeaked as Jared moved to eye level with Jensen.

Jared looked at the figure tied down. Jensen was trying to be nonchalant, but it’s a little difficult when bound at the wrists and ankles whilst being shirtless, shoeless and covered in fake bruises and blood. Jared looked over at the doctor, “Hi doc! What are you doing here? As a matter of interest, is Jensen fit and healthy? It’s just that I’d hate to kill a man not fit enough to appreciate my efforts”

Jared gently rested his hand on Jensen’s bicep; the doctor flinched at the look in Jared’s eyes. He was torn between telling the truth, that Jensen should not be there. Or the lie that everything was fine and, honest, the bag full of painkillers and muscle relaxants at his feet were not for the man on the rack.

Jared watched the doctor trying to think of something to say when a voice spoke up “Hey, Jay, did you have a good night’s sleep; ya looking a little tired there.” Jared looked down at Jensen; he had a nervous smile on his face, knowing he was trapped and unable to escape the wrath of the Puppy.

“Who me? Why yes and weren’t you comfortable in hospital? I’m pretty sure I heard that you should be laid up in bed for a least a week. So unless you’re a shape shifter what the fuck are you doing here?” Jared’s voice dropped to a growl.

Behind them the drama was being watched by the entire crew and Misha was seen in the distance running towards them at speed, trying desperately to tweet at the same time. He came to a halt by Cliff and Gina. Breathlessly he asked, “Well? Are we talking murder and mayhem or Jared asking everyone to clear the set so he can ‘look after’ Jensen in private.”

Cliff shook his head, “Nothing happening yet, but I think Jared is working his way up to exploding. I hate to imagine the fall-out. Do you think we should at least get the doc to safety?” Then they heard the sound of Jared’s voice growing in volume along with frantic arm gestures....

“Of all the goddamn....fucking stupid ideas you’ve ever had this one takes the prize. Jesus, Jensen, did you hit your head when this thing....?” Jared paused and kicked the rack, ignoring Jensen’s groan of pain. “Nearly pulled you apart...Dude, you are not Dean Winchester! You just happened to win a look-alike competition for him! And for the last time there is no such thing as Warner Brothers ointment! It’s gonna take weeks for you to get over this.”

As Jared ranted Jensen watched him with interest; after all, he was a captive audience. He managed to motion to Eric and the doctor to back away, leaving the two of them alone, or as alone as you can be with the entire crew watching. He let Jared continue ranting; he always thought it was good for Jared to vent his spleen occasionally. “Jay, just to remind you we are not alone, so if you’re gonna kill me hold on a second while Misha gets his phone out - he really wants to capture the moment.”

Before Jared could respond he became aware of a voice. By now Bruce had joined the crowd and was interested in what was happening, “What’s goin on? Come on, somebody tell me? By the looks of it Jared is trying to make up his mind whether he’s gonna kiss him or kill him.”

Misha bounced on the spot - his phone filming, ready to capture the moment. “Oh god, I hope he’s gonna kiss him. We’ve got a book running and I’ve got twenty dollars on Jared planting a big smacker on Jensen before the season finishes.”

Jared froze and looked down at Jensen, “Are all the crew here?” He muttered as Jensen gave the slightest of nods. Jared straightened up and took a deep breath, “Ok, that’s it, I think I’ve made it plain. When you’re better I’m gonna kill you, that’s after I’ve killed Eric for letting you be so damn stupid. Is that alright with you, Eric?” Jared turned round to look at Eric and feigned surprise at seeing the crew stood there.

Eric moved cautiously towards Jared, “Listen, just as long as you don’t kill him before hiatus, we’ll be fine. Look, Jay, we’re sorry but Jensen said he’d be fine and honestly, we’ve nearly finished with him. There’s only the scene with Sam being dragged in to see his brother and the rescue and then he’d be done for the day.” He took one look at the murderous expression on Jared’s face.....”Err, I mean week.”

“Ok then, just let me get into make-up and we’ll start and you better cut him loose while I get ready.” Jared went to walk off when Jensen’s voice stopped him.

“Hey dude, can I borrow a pair of your jeans? I think my legs are long enough now.” Jared threw a look over his shoulder.

“That’s not funny, Jen.”

Jensen’s face lit up with Dean’s trademark smirk, “Ah, come on, it’s a little funny.” Jensen’s laughter rang out across the set, making Jared grin.

As he got level with Misha, Cliff, Gina and Bruce, he smiled serenely at them, “Well, come on, Misha, we don’t want to leave Jensen hanging around too long. You know how he gets into trouble.” He walked off, and Misha followed him, trying to get his phone back in his pocket.

A couple of hours later the door to Jensen’s trailer opened, closed and was locked and Jared stood watching him. “Don’t just stand there, come here. I think you’re gonna love this.” Jared walked over to the man lying propped up on the couch by pillows. Jared knelt down by Jensen and he looked him over, concerned by how pale he was.

“Jay, stop it. I’m fine. Like I said, the damn thing just aggravated an old back injury. I’m not about to die on you yet. And by the way, you going all Sam earlier, I thought we were supposed to be flying under the radar? Dude, the only thing you didn’t do was cut me loose and carry me back here. That would’ve made Misha’s year. Come on, Jay, I didn’t set up that damn fic wall, and find all those links to distract Misha and the crew for you to just wade in and go all caveman on me.”

Jared looked sheepishly at him, “Sorry, Jen, it was just seeing you on that damn thing again. It scared the crap out of me, and you’re right, the crew are so busy with ‘The Wall’ they don’t pay any attention to us. By the way, what are you writing? Is it another epic from _Kripkesbitch69_? God, could you imagine Misha’s face if he knew his favourite fan fic author was you?” Jared grinned at Jensen.

Jensen shifted against the pillows and winced; Jared leant towards him, “Whoa there, Dr Sexy, I’m just waiting for the muscle relaxants to kick in, and no, I’m keeping the pain killers for home. That particular performance is for your eyes only. By the way Genève and Danni sent us an email. They’re having a great time, and once they’ve screened the pictures they’ll send ‘em to us. Oh, and Jay, stroke of genius saying Gen would kill you if she thought we were taking a shower together.”

Jared laughed, “As I recall the last time she stayed with us she caught us doing just that. Hang on, are those the pictures you keep threatening me with?” His eyes narrowed and Jensen smirked.

“So then, what is the latest epic? And do I get to pick you up and look after you while whispering sweet nothings, or pleading with you not to die?” Jared tried to look at the lap top Jensen had been writing on, he moved it away and Jared pouted.

“It’s that pirate fic you wanted me to write. I’ve been somewhat inspired after my experiences with Justin’s little history project.”

“Hang on, Jen, isn’t that a little dangerous? Misha’s not stupid; he’s gonna know it could only be one of us when you post that.” Jared was worried that Misha would find out about them and then the whole crew would. Jared knew they would be supportive but they wanted their relationship to be their secret for a little longer.

“No, don’t worry about it, I told Cliff to let it slip in his tweets. Besides, Eric’s convinced we had an escort of armed fan girls when we went to the hospital.”

“Armed with cameras, phones or video equipment?” Jared responded.

“All of the above, so it should be hitting the forums any time now and Eric’s doing a press release to make sure we aren’t besieged with fan girls sitting in a candlelight vigil for my poor battered body outside the hospital.” Jensen winced a little when he moved; Jared put his hand on his arm his face a picture of concern.

“Damn, that hurts. Still, I ain’t got anybody to blame but me. By the way, is Bruce alright after seeing you in action?” He glared at Jared.

“Yeah, he’s fine. I just explained that we’re very close and I hate to see you getting hurt. I told him you’re my best friend. I also said if you’re out of action they beat the crap out of me, so it was purely self interest.” Jared grinned.

“Just promise me that you’re not about to launch into that ‘Queen’ song, I can’t get away from your singing. By the way, did you bring the links I found the other day?” Jensen looked expectantly.

“Yup man, found ‘em last night, and I stopped off at ‘The Wall’ on the way in; nobody saw me put them up. Misha’s gonna be in raptures with the latest batch. I loved the ‘Leverage’ AU with me as the hitter and you as the thief. And the couple set here were pretty good. Although I’d never have put you with Jim it makes a great pairing. And I found some of my own, there’s a few Dean/Castiel that will ruffle Misha’s wings. It will just help keep him off balance. Now, come on then, what about the latest fic?” Jared settled down to listen as Jensen read to him.

“Right! Where had we got to? Ok, then the dreaded pirate, Padalecki had just finished a highly successful series of raids up and down the Caribbean. He’d been doing this in protest at the corrupt rule by Governor Jeffrey Dean Morgan and his Henchman Captain Misha Collins. We’d just gotten to where Captain Collins had arrested Captain Padalecki, one true love of the blacksmith, Jensen Ackles. Captain Padalecki and his men are now fighting their way through the fort to rescue him......

 _The battle raged viciously. All around were the screams of the dying but Jared paid them no heed. He had to get to Jensen; he cursed himself for not making sure the other man had been safe before he left for his last raid. Jared carelessly ran his sword through the redcoat stood in front of him, his eyes scanned the room._

 _The battle seemed to be turning in their favour; people from the town had joined them in the fight. Finally they had reached breaking point with Morgan’s tyranny and had flocked to Jared’s cause. He caught a glimpse of the man he’d come to kill, Captain Collins. Collins was engaged in a fight with Jared’s friend and first mate, Chad. Jared felt his heart leap into his throat. Chad was no match for the expert swordsman;, he could see his childhood companion being sorely pressed. He was bleeding from several wounds inflicted by Collins who, as usual, revelled in the pain he inflicted onto others. Jared brutally cut his way towards the two combatants._

 _“COLLINS” Jared roared above the sound of battle. Collins smiled and with a careless flick of the wrist he sliced across Chad’s belly, making the other man scream. Captain Collins ignored Chad as he approached Jared, an evil grin on his face._

 _Jared looked over at his fallen friend but he had to concentrate on the man walking towards him. Jared swung his sword and unleashed a furious attack on Collins; all the hatred and anger he held towards the man poured into those blows, making Collins stagger backwards._

 _“Well, Well, Captain Padalecki, it’s such a pleasure to see you again. Are you looking for something? You seem somewhat distracted.” With that, Collins twisted Jared’s blade to one side and sliced across his chest._

 _Jared stepped back. He was right, you couldn’t fight a man like Collins with anger alone. He took a calming breath and began to fight more clinically._

 _Captain Collins could sense that there was a chance he could lose this battle. After all, Padalecki was a master swordsman. He could’ve been Governor one day but for he and Morgan framing his father for Treason. As Jared pressed him ever backwards Misha realized where he was. He deliberately made a wild swing at Jared’s head, forcing him to duck._

 _Misha sprinted away, leading Jared towards the deepest dungeons where prisoners were taken to be interrogated. He stopped, knowing what awaited Jared once he rounded the corner. Jared caught up and glared at him, “What are you? Too great a coward to face me, Collins? Are you looking for reinforcements to come to your aid?” Jared stepped closer to finish the man._

 _Just then a blood-curdling scream rent the air. Jared knew the sound of that voice....“Jensen?” He whispered the name, and Collins grinned delightedly._

 _“Do you like the way he sings, Padalecki? The rack has a way of making you sing like that; he’s just so pretty when he bleeds. If he was mine I’d never let him out of my bed or out of my sight.” Collins threw back his head and laughed._

 _The laughter died when Jared’s blade moved like lightning, running him through to the hilt. Jared watched dispassionately as Collins crumpled to the floor. With only one thought on his mind Captain Padalecki went in search of the man he’d given his heart to._

Jensen finished reading and looked up at Jared. Jared was entranced. Jensen smiled; he knew that Jared was a sucker for historical stories. He’d checked his browser just so he could write fics Jared would enjoy, and he should really tell Jared if he liked his stuff so much he’d give him the PDF link.

“Well, what do you think? Do I need to make the final duel between Jared and Misha more action packed?”

Jared started on hearing Jensen’s voice, “Possibly. Well, come on, then. Does Jared rescue Jensen? Is he all right and what about Chad? You usually don’t kill the good guys.” Jared was practically bouncing up and down.

“I promise Chad makes a full recovery, and as for Jensen - I foresee a heroic rescue with Jared carrying him back to his ship, followed by a lot of loving massages and very gentle love-making. By the way, did you sit up all night reading fic? You’ll go blind if you keep that up.” Jensen looked at Jared with concern in his eyes.

Jared shook his head, “No, not all night. I had some touch-up work I needed to do.”

“Oh really? Is that the new name for it? Am I gonna have to kill Misha for stealing my boyfriend? Oh, don’t tell me it’s the grip? Jared, how could you!” Jensen sobbed as he spoke.

Jared rolled his eyes, “No doofus, it was the painting from Passion’s slave. I had to make some changes to it.”

“Why? I thought you liked the way it came out; you had me kneeling there long enough. And by the way, all those muscles? Jay, you’re impressive but, dude, you’d reached critical mass.” Jensen laughed.

“What can I say? The subject matter was inspirational, and that was the problem. I’d painted all your bruises from the last stunt that went wrong, I heard Lou mention the similarities to Gina. Then you and Misha played chicken with the rack and so the picture was forgotten. Don’t worry, when she remembers to check, all the bruises will have moved. Ahh...the beauty of Photoshop.” Jared moved closer to Jensen and gently placed a kiss on his lips.

Jensen’s eyes closed, the kiss broke and they looked at one another, “Are you gonna be much longer Jay? Or should I get Cliff to take me home.” Jensen felt as if he could sleep for a month. Now his back was beginning to tense again and he really needed some painkillers.

Jared ran his fingers through his hair, “If you can hang on for a little longer we’re gonna finish with Bruce and then Eric says we can go for the day. I’m gonna have a real early call in the morning, though. I really should’ve come back to the hospital; last night instead of sitting reading.” Jensen sank down into the pillows. Jared picked up the lap top and pulled the blanket covering Jensen up higher.

Jensen looked up at with him with a smile, “No Jay I was fine, besides I couldn’t have staged my great escape with you hovering over me. Now go and be brilliant, so we can get home.” With that he closed his eyes and tried to relax.

“You just try and get some sleep and me and Cliff will come and get you soon as possible.” Jared dropped another kiss on Jensen’s forehead. These moments were theirs alone; to the crew and the outside world they were the best of friends but when they were safely behind closed doors things were very different.

Jared was just walking to the door when Jensen’s voice stopped him, “Jay, can you put that link up on ‘The Wall’ for me and then tell me how Misha reacts.” Jared looked at the table where the link was and then he saw the grin on Jensen’s face.

“Should I ask, or would the surprise be better?” He waited for an answer.

“Oh, it’s nothing - just a little fic were Misha handles a cursed object on set and gets turned into a girl.”

“Why do I get the feeling there is more to it than that.” Jared asked. Jensen’s grin was making him nervous.

“Well, Misha becomes the filling in a J2 sandwich, and then after he gets turned back...Put it like this, I ain’t the only one who’s bow legged by the end of it.” Jared roared with laughter at that.

“Don’t worry, Jen, I’ll make sure Misha gets it with your love,” With that, Jared left the trailer.

Five minutes later as he lay resting, Jensen heard Misha’s voice......”ACKLES!!!”


End file.
